Rules for diet under stress

Came across this in my file cabinet the other day...just in time for Thanksgiving tomorrow!

RULES FOR DIET UNDER STRESS

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled by the diet soda. This is medically called the "Liquefaction Process".

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat as much as they do. This is called "Calorie Cancellation by Reciprocity".

4. Food eaten for medical purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you eat with a person fatter than you, you lose calories. Many wonder why they look thinner and feel thinner around fat people. If is because they ARE thinner. The exact process and theory is still a mystery to physicist, but it follows the Newtonian principle that larger bodies attract, or have a pull, on smaller bodies in proximity to them. This results in a gravitational pull upon the calories of the smaller body. Dietitians describe it as "Centrifugal Calorie Remission".

6. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking cookies causes calorie leakage. The same principle holds as well for other foods. Hence, instead of eating a chocolate pie whole, if you eat it in pieces you intake less calories.

7. Movie related foods have no additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not of one's personal fuel.

8. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal and maybe substituted for any other food color. This principle's biological name is "Calorie Equilibrium by Chromasynthesis".


So...everyone enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner without guilt!!!

Monday feeling

Here is what Monday feels like to me today...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIfu2A0ezq0

sad

Sad news today. Humphrey (Dad's English Bulldog) fell into the pool and could not get out.

What to do to help with the grief of a lost pet. Just yesterday he went out and bought Humpy Dump a sweater cause it was getting chilly.

Sadness, tears, frustration..I should have sent this link.

http://www.smartpakcanine.com/productclass.aspx?productClassId=5273&GCID=C11284x040

http://www.skamper-ramp.com

If you have a pool and a small pet, child, etc. Please get one of these.

Great website for a laugh or avoiding work...

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Merry Christmas

I know..I am early at that greeting...but Big Mama scored today!!

I was able to get Princess her Nintendo Wii which is really the only HUGE item on her Christmas wish list. I actually stopped by ToysRUs but that place was crazy and the people who worked there did not have a clue. So I drove down to the road to Meijers. Got a great lady to help and she found a system in the back! It was on sale for $249 w/the Wii Sports game included. WOOHOO!

I can't believe I actually paid that much money for one gift but it was her #1 wish item. It was on her Christmas list last year but we didn't get it. I am sort of glad that we waited. I think that she will like it much better now that she is a bit older (and has had the chance to practice when she spends the night with her friend who has the "cool mom'")

Well time for me to get to work to pay for this little gem.

Wishing everyone Happy Holidays and hope Santa brings you what you want and need.

new toy...

I finally got around to upgrading my old worn out cell phone. This is my new one..it has a camera, internet access, games, and even an FM radio..I feel so hip now..LOL.

Isn't she pretty? Now I need to find a fancy case for her.

game systems

Trying to figure out what system is better (as far as price, number of "girl" games offered, etc...)

1. XBox
2. Wii
3. Playstation
4. Gamecube

Any and all input is welcome. Thanks!